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Commentary by Dennis Garrison   The Adelaide Awards FIRST PLACE — THE ADELAIDE Sea Sounds Falling up into stars from a cradle of sand . . . nestled close beside you, I taste the night. Carol Raisfeld This wonderful lyric cinquain makes it look simple - a mark of excellence. From the value-adding title (with two deeply resonant words), to the Line 1 - Line 5 resonant connection, to the so-subtle turn at the end of Line 4, this poem maximizes the cinquain’s particular strengths to produce a poem so polished it seems inevitable. The tranquility of the diction plays strongly against the vibrant sensory imagery. This is what is meant by “an instant classic.” Raisfeld has created a superb cinquain in classic style. SECOND PLACE Lipstick She loves the dark stain, yes the smear of its claret like an adulteress who shapes her smile. Lucille Gang Shulklapper In “Lipstick,” Shulklapper has likewise made use of several techniques. Her title is a virtual sixth line, which is desirable in cinquain. There is an insight to be had in the L1 - L5 couplet into the dramatis persona. There is an extraordinary lushness to the diction of this poem (so difficult to achieve in poems of such brevity), with lines 2 and 3 standing out. The turn is finely done, so seamlessly it surprises. Very fine work in this cinquain. THIRD PLACE Apprenticed Our earth, frail boat, drifts on a vast ocean of sky while we hold tight and try to learn to row. Ross Plovnick I enjoyed the way Plovnick’s cinquain leads the reader back to the title for reassessment. This poem seems to be a natural lyric but opens into trenchant commentary with the fourth line and its two-stage turn (holding/learning). The turn is such a double-back, it sends us back to the title for understanding. This is very careful, skillful writing and a beautiful cinquain. FOURTH PLACE At the Boarding Gate Last call for departure— I look around and see that those who came to say goodbye are gone. Bob Lucky Lucky’s dry humor shines in this excellent poem. It is further amusing that his physical turn is likewise the turn of the verse. Knowing when to stop with the information in a poem is sort of like timing in comedy, an important but fine line. Lucky stops on a dime and gives us a potent and funny cinquain. FIFTH PLACE Railroad out of bondage Follow the drinking gourd, travel after moon-down. Wherever they hang that star quilt, turn north. Rich Magahiz Magahiz has essayed a subject that is profoundly meaningful in American society and carries a tremendous baggage of social, cultural, and other resonances. The diction is reminiscent of the events but never condescending. Although the reader must bring something more than usual to the table with a poem like this, its deep allusions will be apparent to millions. This is a hauntingly beautiful poem that comes back to one over and again. HONORABLE MENTIONS There were so many fine poems in the 2007 issues of AMAZE that there are quite a few more that I wish I could highlight here. I have included below three Honorable Mention cinquains, in no particular order, and also three Honorable Mention Variant Forms. I think it is important to recognize, along with the finest cinquains, also the finest of the variant forms which are becoming established on the basis of cinquain prosody and spirit. So, I have included a mirror cinquain, a crown cinquain, and a butterfly. Galactic Lullaby Some nights I hear the stars sing of another me, walking an opal beach, under twin moons . . . Michael L. Evans Long ago Warriors clash in the sun, their silver blades flashing— on the ground, the fallen cherry blossoms. Terra Martin Shipwrecked Marooned— we watch the tide day after endless day; what can we say we have not said before? John Daleiden HONORABLE MENTIONS - VARIANT FORMS Mirror Cinquain Song Of The Muse I am the candlelight upon your book of verse, the shadow sweeping softly through your dream, the one you sense just beyond your vision, the wind that rustles leaves once your thoughts are set free. Michael L. Evans Crown Cinquain Poet Without Borders After the final shot silence lies within words— you reach through it, a bloody mute stillness. The words, half-dead, fractured lie—blackened or bloated or buried alive in snow’s deep whiteness. On the empty pages of the lost words, you search finding other tongues, lover tongues— meanings. Poet without borders you resurrect dead words, breathe life into barely living language. In the quest for language we yearn for words of peace, of love, and dancing, we hold hands, singing. Hortensia Anderson Butterfly Whispers at the Window Fleeting, like spring bouquets and picnic days that lapse into orange and ochre whorls, this life . . . a single snowflake surrenders upon breath-frosted glass, its fragile dance complete. Naia My congratulations to the winner of The Adelaide prize for 2007, Carol Raisfeld, to those who placed in the short list, Lucille Gang Shulklapper, Ross Plovnick, Bob Lucky, and Rich Magahiz, and to our Honorable Mentions, Michael Evans, Terra Martin, John Daleiden, Hortensia Anderson, and Naia. It certainly has been an honor and a privilege to read these wonderful cinquains and to share my reflections on them. — Denis M. Garrison

Return to the front page of this issue:   Amaze   Vol. 6, No. 1   Go to the Poets & Authors page for the poet's biographical sketch and email link. All poems are copyright © 2008 by their respective authors.

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